


Trapped in Your Own Lies

by Ranomnom



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, Drama, Kidnapping, Love, M/M, TIYOL, Trapped in Your Own Lies, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-02-21 00:51:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2449241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ranomnom/pseuds/Ranomnom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light finds himself in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, thanks to L. The detective kidnapped him and forced him to stay there. Now, stuck alone with the freak, Light has to figure out just what L is planning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kidnapped by a Freak

Light found himself gritting his teeth in aggravation, quickly loosening his jaw as he reminded himself what a bad habit this was. Ryuuzaki had annoyed the young male many, many, many, many times- but this took the cake. The detective had the nerve to lock him in a trunk; blindfolded, gagged, and handcuffed for good measure. He had always questioned how ethical the man's methods were, and this proved only one thing: L was nuts.

Of course, he already knew this.

Why else would a grown man indulge on- no, inhale sweets every ten seconds? Why else would a grown man hunt down a high school, now college freshman, and accuse him of being a psychopathic killer? Well, he was actually right on that one, but that's beside the point. Why else would a grown man bind and blind his "only friend" and lock him in a trunk, going God knows where?

A chill shot up Light's spine as a disgusting idea entered his mind. _No_ , He thought firmly. _Ryuuzaki isn't like that. He's more of a man-child than a filthy pervert..._ He fought off a faint chuckle, realizing the blunder he had just made. _Who are you, Misa?_

Muffled curses shot from his lips as he slammed into the front of the trunk, feeling the car come to a rather sudden stop. _Thank God_ , He breathed a mental sigh of relief. _He's finally stopped. Maybe now he can explain what the hell is going on._

Flickers of light filtered through the brown cloth wrapped around his eyes as he heard the trunk open.

"I apologize for the rough trip and seating arrangements, Raito-kun..." Came a mumble from above him. "But, it's nothing Kira couldn't handle..."

Light's hands clenched behind his back and he snarled something through the cloth. Every muscle in his body froze as he heard a laugh.

"That's right, you can't say anything, can you?" It almost sounded as if L was mocking him in some cruel way. "Well, just keep walking."

Two rough hands yanked him out of the car and set him on his feet, forcing him to stay balanced. A slight yelp slipped from his mouth as he heard the trunk slam shut beside him. This was only answered by another laugh, and Light was dragged by the front of his collar.

Angry and terrified thoughts coursed through his mind as he struggled to keep his footing on the uneven ground. From the way his shoes dug into it, he could tell it had rained not so long ago. The woods..? He thought as he heard a hawk in the background. _Why on earth would he take me to the middle of nowhere..?_ The male's suspicions were answered as the smell of smoke reached his nose. It wasn't heavy like a forest fire; it was like a stove or a fireplace. _A cabin...how cliche._ His lips formed a smirk at his own snide mental comment.

L's hand hit Light's chest roughly and grabbed his shoulder to steady him as he stopped. "Here we are, your new home for the next year," There was a slight pause. "..or until you admit you're Kira."

Unable to hold back sounds any longer, Light cried out in anger. "THE HELL?!" He screamed, his words clearer than he thought they'd be. "That's what this is all about?! You bound me, shoved me into the cramped back of a car, and brought me out into the middle of nowhere to get a false confession out of me?!" His voice began to rise as his anger boiled over. "You're a freak, L. That's right, I called you L, because I don't know what your real name even is!" He roared. "You're the liar here, not me! You're the one who should be locked up in some mental asylum somewhere!"

There was a disturbingly long silence as Light caught his breath. For a second, he thought he had hurt the man's feelings..when a hang grabbed his collar again and jerked him into the building. "For one thing, I don't know for sure if you're Kira or not. I'm not disclosing my name because I care about actually staying alive." Light could practically hear L smile from amusement. "And using an alias as a detective is hardly worthy of being diagnosed with a mental disorder."

The younger male wished he could take the blindfold off so he too could see the smoke rolling out of his ears. He felt the cloth being removed from his mouth. "I'm not saying I'm Kira because I don't want to die for something I didn't do." He shot back, his voice a low growl. He was fed up with L; he couldn't take it any more. "This is ridiculous. If you wanted to interrogate me, you could have just done it at headquarters..!"

Suddenly, a hand shoved him down into a chair. Ropes tightened around his torso, binding him to the chair.

The other cloth was removed from his eyes, and he found his face inches from L's. For the first time, a genuine smile of emotion spread across L's face...and it made bile rise in Light's throat. "There are other ways of getting a confession out of you, Light Yagami..." The raven-haired male breathed.


	2. Pervert

_W-what did he just say..?_

Shaky laughs came from the brown-haired male as he quivered. "F-funny, really f-f-funny, Ryuzaki..." He mumbled, swallowing hard. "You really had me going there for a second..now..untie me." He almost added a please to the end. Chills were rocketing all the way up to the back of his head. A great deal of effort was required to not vomit all over himself at the moment from pure fear.

L grabbed Light's hair in a tight fist and yanked his head back, forcing the boy to face him. "I'm afraid that wasn't a joke, Light..." He purred, an almost sneering grin on his face. "You see...when Misa accused me of being a 'pervert' so long ago..." Soft chuckles slipped from the male. His entire personality seemed to have changed the moment they left that car. "...she was right in one way..."

Light watched as the other male walked away, only to return with a wet rag. He began to squirm frantically in his seat, crying out for help as his eyes bulged massively. The only thing he could hear was his own heart drumming in his ears. His face was covered with the rag...and everything went black.

***

When the poor boy awoke, he found himself chained down on a near-freezing floor.

He shivered, blinking at the darkness as he tried to recall what had happened. As everything began to sink in, he could no longer fight it off. Barely managing to stay on all fours, he lost his meals to a puddle on the floor. His nose wrinkled faintly at the smell and he gagged further, unable to stand the taste.

"Aww, is Raito-kun not feeling well~?" Came a mocking tone from nearby.

At that moment, Light became well aware of two things. One, L was going to make every second in this place a living hell. Two, he was naked.

He frantically tried to sit down and cover himself, but something tight around his hips was keeping him from doing so. His eyes started to sting and he fought off the whimpers he could feel rising in his throat.

"We're going to play a little game, m'kay?" L's voice cooed. "Every question you get right, I'll unlock one cuff...but every question you get wrong..." The man snickered. "...I'll let you find that out on your own."

Light went silent for a few seconds, knowing he had no choice in the matter. After a while, he finally answered with a soft "okay".

"Is Misa Amane the second Kira?"

His heart shot into his throat. Such a straightforward question already? He gritted his teeth, cringing a bit. "...yes..." He barely whispered, tears rolling down his face.

"Mmm...good job..." L sneered. "Now that I know you're going to cooperate...let's continue..."

The boy bit his lip, giving a cowardly nod.

"Is Light Yagami Kira?"

The word "no" slipped from his mouth before he could even think of another answer. He gave a short whine, knowing that this wouldn't be considered the right answer in any way. He went dead silent when he heard Ryuzaki tutting.

"No, no, no...wrong answer~.." He murmured.

A cry of pure shock and agony ripped from Light's mouth as he felt a sharp, violent pain on his backside. Short whimpers escaped him as he struggled against his restraints, frantically trying to get away from the madman.

"Oh dear, did you not enjoy that~?" The older man teased. "I'd apologize, but that was kind of the purpose. I'll give you some easier questions."

"Stop," Light whispered hoarsely. "Please...please stop this..." He begged, desperately trying to reason with him. "I don't want anymore...lock me up if you have to...anything but this..." His hopes deflated even further when he heard L go into hysterics over this.

"HA! What?! Did you honestly think if you said 'pretty please' I would stop?!" He cried, suddenly going silent. "...you're such an idiot, Raito-kun..." He hissed.

Light could hear footsteps drawing closer. The thing around his hips disappeared, and he fell to his side, ignoring the pain in his wrists. When he was sure L was gone, he broke down in soft sobs, begging for mercy.


	3. Just a Dream

Light awoke the next morning to find soft cloth draped over him and slightly tangled around his legs. A soft smile found its way onto his lips as he rolled over onto his side, burying his face in the pillow that smelled faintly of cherries. The bed he lay on seemed to mold to his body, and he could only assume it was memory foam. A quiet noise of contentment escaped him and he sat up, running his fingers through his hair. It took a few seconds, but he soon realized he was not in a hotel or his room...and he was quite naked.

Panic filled his chest and his hands began to shake as the events of the night before slammed into him full force. _Shit….no...no this isn't happening...fuck..where are my clothes?!_

He scrambled to his feet, holding the thin sheet over his pelvic region as his gaze searched the rather posh room for his clothes. He found them folded neatly by a robe that practically called his name. As if hypnotized by the softness of the fabric, he wrapped himself up in it and shivered, being comforted by a smell only comparable to hot chocolate. _Maybe it was all a dream...maybe I hit my head in the car and soiled my clothes or something...after last night..he wouldn't have brought me into a comfy room like this after being so cruel...so…._

The red head squeezed his eyes shut as he felt nausea overcome him. He hurried out of the room and into the bathroom he found right by it. He fell to his knees at the toilet, losing what little food he had in his stomach. Tears rolled steadily down his face as he shook, his breaths ragged.

"Are you alright, Raito-kun?"

A scream ripped from Light's hoarse throat and he spun, falling onto his rear to find himself staring up at the raven-haired male. His index finger rest on his lower lip in that innocent, child-like way that made Light almost positive last night had been a mere nightmare.

"Y-yeah.." He mumbled, letting a sheepish smile steal his lips as he rubbed the back of his head. "Just a little nauseous and tired...and rather confused..where are we?" He arched a brow, standing up shakily.

Ryuzaki nodded as if he needed to confirm that what the younger male said sounded truthful. "I can understand that. You've been unconscious for two days. You hit your head pretty hard in the truck. I'm terribly sorry you had such a rough ride, it was the only way I could ensure you didn't see your surroundings." He mumbled softly, keeping a relatively dull tone without an inch of sincerity, as usual.

Light quirked a faint grin. "It's fine, I understand," He paused, glancing around as a scent distracted him. "...are you cooking bacon..?" He mumbled, his smile fading into a blank expression. The concept of L knowing how to cook had never entered his mind. He assumed Watari did all of the housework while the male just sat there and...hm..what did L do in his freetime, aside from shovel sugary foods down his throat?

"Yes, along with pancakes and eggs, if those are to your liking..?" The male asked, tilting his head to the side faintly until Light gave a brief nod of approval and thanks. Ryuzaki's hand suddenly grasped Light's wrist and tugged him out of the bathroom.

Aside from L even touching him, the male's strength once again astounded Light. He knew there was no way in hell he could have freed his arm from the man's grip. "H-hold on, Ryuzaki, I can follow you on my own, what are you-?!"

Shock rippled through his body as the male's soft lips suddenly muffled his words.


	4. Retaliation

A loud crack echoed through the cabin. Light's heavy, panicked breathing was the only other sound.

The back of his hand stung as he stared at L, who was touching his now red cheek with a rather hurt look in his eyes.

"What the fuck was that?!" The man hissed, staggering backwards. "What's going on with you, Ryuzaki? You're acting like you've gone off the deep-end!"

Disappointment flickered momentarily in the raven-haired male's eyes. "I apologize again, Light. That was completely uncalled for. Your breakfast is in the kitchen." And with that, the man hurried to his room.

* * *

"Matt, your plan failed about as badly as Mello's did." Ryuzaki stated plainly.

His owlish gaze was trained on his laptop screen, in which his red-headed and blonde prodigies resided.

"How badly did it go, boss?" The goggled boy asked, tilting his head to the side. "And what happened to your face?"

A low sigh escaped the man. "Light hit me after I kissed him. I'll never get him to confess at this point. Any other ideas?"

"How about you just fake a gruesome accident?" Suggested a soft, off-camera voice.

Mello scoffed. "Shut up, Near. His goal is to keep Light alive and catch Kira." He returned his attention to his mentor. "Just keep going with Matt's plan. The kid is hormonal and you're the only guy there. If he isn't gonna fall for you, his dick'll do the talking for him." He laughed.

L shook his head quickly. "My goal isn't to seduce him. If he would just confess I could get him mental treatment instead of jail time."

"Why don't you just tell him that? Isn't he a logical person?" Near asked.

Melli scoffed. "What logical person kills people? Even if they are criminals, the kid has a screw loose. I don't know why you want to help him so much, L."

A slight warmth creeped into Ryuzaki's cheeks. "Thank you for the suggestions. I have to go now, I've taken too long as is. He might get suspicious."

He quickly ended the video call and shut the laptop, staring into space as he sighed.

_Because I'm the detective that's fallen for a criminal._


	5. Holes

L headed to the kitchen, blinking in surprise when he saw Light seemingly terrified by his breakfast.

"Is the food not to your liking?" He asked softly.

The teen shot him a dirty look. "How did you know how I like my eggs?" He muttered.

The detective sat across from him. "I asked your father what your food preferences and allergies were." He said simply. The two sat in silence for a while until Light couldn't take it anymore.

"Are you even human?" The boy muttered. "You never show any emotions. You're never angry or jealous or sad- you're just blank." He snapped. "Why don't you? Is it just to piss people off or is something wrong with you?!"

Silence filled the room once more as the two stared blankly at eachother.

L finally broke the silence.

"Tell me, Light, did you dig as a child?" He murmured.

Light stared at him, baffled. "Uhm, yeah, I guess.." He murmured.

Ryuzaki nodded. "Most children did, if not all. At a certain age, it's safe to say every child digs holes outside." He muttered. "You could write it off as just child's play, but what if it was more than that? What if they were digging holes to hide something?" He tilted his head. "Perhaps emotions, or memories, or even secrets. A subconscious form of emotional leverage.

"Luckily, most children barely use their holes. But I continued digging mine into my tween years." He stood, watching Light carefully. "Interpret my words as you wish, Raito-kun."

Light watched the man leave in silence, a slight bit of nausea drifting over him. He sat at that table and thought for a while, subconsciously resting his fingers on his lips as he recalled the man's actions.

_What if I'm starting to dig up those holes? Was he just reaching out to me for help? Or was he telling me to stop?_

His eyes dulled and he sighed. He didn't know what the detective's intentions were, but he was suddenly very aware that this was no longer about his identity as a killer.

* * *

Ryuzaki stood in the shower, letting the warm water run over his body as his thoughts consumed him. Why did he just tell Light these things? He had never been the type to just spill his personal thoughts everywhere, but that was exactly what he just did. He had told the boy everything. Not just his theory, but a glimpse into his past life and childhood.

However, what if opening up to Light was the key? What if letting him in made him mirror the actions? What if-?

No, there was no point in hopelessly speculating.

He turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist after draping one over his head. The male stepped out of the shower, glancing down at his pale body with a slight feeling of disdain. His onyx gaze drifted to the mirror as he observed himself, drying his hair in silence. Of course, he wouldn't actually speak, but the unusual silence took place in his mind. It was slightly relaxing to L, to just let his mind to blank. A soft sigh escaped him and he quickly exited the bathroom.

Shock jolted through him as he was suddenly attacked. Light gripped his shoulders and pinned him against the wall, staring into his eyes. The teen's eyes were flaming with intensity.

"I don't know what kind of game you're playing here, L, but I don't intend to lose." He muttered before releasing him and walking away.

Ryuzaki stared after him, his cheeks flushing slightly.

He fought the urge to hit himself, as the only thought he could have at the moment was how close Light's lips had been to his.


	6. 1:35 in the Morning

The first sound Light awoke to the next morning was wailing. Well, not really. Frankly, it was actually 1:35 in the morning, and the wailing was more of an agonized scream.

It was far too real for him to brush it off as some dream he didn't remember, so the male quickly dressed himself and slipped out of his room to investigate. To his surprise, another scream followed, and it seemed to be coming from L's room. Perplexed, the teen hesitated before turning the knob and pushing the door open.

Ryuzaki was thrashing about in the bed, his eyes squeezed shut. After ruling out some kind of panic attack, Light quickly realized it was a nightmare- a rather nasty one, at that. 'Dammit,' the male thought with a slight huff. He was unsure of what to do. The older man had recently confided in him, in a way, but were they close enough for him to attempt comfort? And could Light really be a source of comfort? Deciding to give it a shot, he headed over to the bed and quickly pinned the male down to avoid being hit. He then proceeded to shake him gently.

"Ryuzaki...Ryuzaki wake up, you're having a nightmare." He said quickly, as if the man wouldn't be aware of this.

The raven-haired male jolted a bit, his jaw movement showing he was gritting his teeth. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes, gazing at Light.

The teen could only compare it to the face of a terrified child, and quickly relinquished all irritation he had with him. Without hesitation, he pulled the man into a tight embrace, rubbing his back.

L froze and tensed greatly, only relaxing when Light began rubbing below his shoulder blade. The motion seemed to comfort him, and his arms wrapped around the other in return.

Light's cheeks flushed a bit as an instinct came over him. They darkened further when he suddenly acted upon it.

The detective pulled away, staring at him owlishly in shock, and honestly- Light was just as surprised.

"Raito-kun..did you just...?" The man mumbled, blinking a few times.

He nodded quickly, swallowing hard as he struggled to come to terms with the fact that he, Light Yagami, the god of the new world, had just kissed the great detective L on the cheek.


	7. Kiss

L's heart seemed to stop beating, and everything around him went quiet. After a few seconds, he managed to speak.

"R...Raito-kun...did you just...?"

If Light responded, Ryuzaki was oblivious. He could still feel his soft lips on his cheek. His cheeks were dark red, and his heart was pounding now. Suddenly, he was acting without control. His fingers twined in the back of the teen's hair as he leaned in, closing the distance between their lips. He closed his eyes, shuddering as relief spread over him. It felt amazing to finally have this all out in the open- even if he could be rejected in an instant.

However, quite the opposite of his grim expectation took place. Light's hands gripped the sheets behind L as he leaned into the kiss, adding a bit more passion to what had been rather innocent and cute. The black-haired male nearly fainted when he felt tongue pressing against his lower lip, as if asking permission.

Once the initial shock wore off, he opened his mouth slightly. Light's tongue entered his mouth instantly. The contact was foreign to L, and he sat there, unmoving and baffled.

The corner of Light's lips twitched and he broke the kiss with a pleasantly wet noise. "Stop thinking, Ryuzaki..." He breathed, planting gentle kisses along his neck. "Just relax..."

The detective bit his lip, shuddering visibly. He wasn't going to admit that, in fact, his mind had been totally blank.

L whimpered in slight embarrassment, looking away. He felt like he might be sick.

A yelp escaped him as he felt Light's hand wander up his shirt. "L-Light!" He cried, shaking as his blush darkened further. 

The teen laughed, pushing him down on the bed. "I'll help you sleep," he purred. "I'll make you feel so much better..."


	8. "Ryuu"

Well, in all honesty, Light should have seen this coming.

He reflected thoroughly on this as he sat in his room, rubbing his now sore cheek. He had moved a bit too quickly with Ryuzaki. 

After getting the male's shirt halfway off, L had caught on and panicked. The teen was shoved away with a surprising amount of strength and locked out of the room. As disappointing as it was, he really did feel guilty. He had pushed L into something he wasn't ready for. Or perhaps...had limited knowledge on?

That idea had never struck him until now. He had just believed L had no time for sexual matters, but was it possible that he just _didn't know_? Light found himself blushing furiously the more he realized just how likely that was. He had undressed and showered in front of the man for weeks, and now with the revelation that he was attracted to the male sex, he realized L had never showed any arousal. While as vain a thought it was, Light knew he was attractive. Very attractive, in fact. He took pride in it and had been informed of it very often. Clearly L was fond of him as more than a friend from the first kiss and accepting the second. It made perfect sense. L just didn't understand what was going on, and had been scared.

Light was soon pacing his room, deep in thought. What exactly did L not know? He couldn't imagine the brilliant man not understanding how reproduction worked. Was it just that he didn't realize it could be done for pleasure and between two people of the same gender? Or, perhaps he really didn't know about reproduction at all. It had never really come up, and the closest thing to a parent L had was Watari. He just couldn't imagine Watari giving L "The Talk"- it was painful enough having his dad give it to him.

This new idea was giving him more ideas. What else did the man not know? Just how naive was he? The concept that L had been a pervert was extremely amusing at this point. Misa would be mortified to know the man didn't even know what sex was. Light bit his lip. Maybe he should try to find out- but how would he? And then a realization struck him. L had used his laptop. They had internet. They probably had phone access, too.

Wandering out of his room, his own stupidity embarrassed him even further. Perhaps he hadn't noticed the rotary phone sitting in the hallway due to its old-fashioned nature. He could say he had written it off as a mere decoration, or that he had been busy. With a sigh, he dialed the number he was sure he could reach Watari with, holding the receiver to his ear. He couldn't help but be surprised when the man answered.

"Ryuzaki, is that you? I thought you would use your laptop to contact me?" The elderly man questioned.

Light bit his lip. "Eh...no...it's Light. I'm allowed to call you, aren't I?" He mumbled unsurely. He relaxed when the other man chuckled softly.

"No, no, it's perfectly fine. My number is the only one the phone can call. Is everything alright?" Slight concern was audible in his voice.

The teen smiled. Something about Watari was very comforting. He was so calm, unlike his own father. Like the stereotype of a wise grandfather, almost. "Yeah, everything's fine. I uh..kind of have an awkward question, though. Some situations have happened between L and I, and I didn't want to ask him this myself in case it offended him, but...well...does he know what sex is..?" He murmured, laughing a bit.

There was a moment of almost awkward silence. "Er, no," Watari said slowly, sounding rather baffled himself. "At least, I never told him about it. I just assumed he knew. I know the other three are aware...certainly Mello and Matt...but..." He was talking to himself more at this point. "Light, can I ask what...'situations' made you question this?" He asked calmly.

Light swallowed hard. "He...ah..well...we...we've kissed..and we were getting a bit passionate. I started on his..uh..shirt...and he kinda freaked out..." He felt like he was going to burn up from how awkward this was. Slight fear filled him as he suddenly realized Watari might be homophobic. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned it. What if-? His thoughts were interrupted by an understanding laugh.

"Ah. I see. Yes, I was already aware of L's affections towards you. And I could tell you were aware of his presence in the same manner. Don't worry, I won't tell your father. I can tell that is a rock better left unturned." He murmured, knowing sympathy in his voice. Light nodded, even though he knew the man couldn't see him. Soichiro Yagami was a man of pride. He didn't exactly have religious reasons, but the family line was important to him. The idea that his son wouldn't carry the name on by blood could give him a stroke on it's own. Yes, Light was very thankful that Watari would stay silent on the matter.

"If you'd like, you can try and explain it to him yourself. He really ought to know."

Light nodded, his gaze softening. "Yeah, I will. And uh..." He smiled. "Thanks a lot, Watari. I'll try to call a bit more, so you can know what's going on with Ryuu." He turned red, the unfamiliar pet name slipping out by accident

The man laughed again. " 'Ryuu'? My best wishes to the happy couple, then." He joked. "But yes, thank you. I better go now, your father wants to hear about how many times you've argued with L and how you're _probably_ not Kira."

They said their goodbyes and Light hung up, leaning against the wall. A pet name. He, Light Yagami, had referred to L with a _pet name_. What was he, a thirteen year old girl? He rubbed his face, glancing at the clock. It was almost midnight already. _I better get some sleep. I can handle this tomorrow._

He slipped back into his room and climbed under the covers, smiling in a content manner as he imagined the other male already asleep in his bed.

_"Goodnight, Ryuu. Sweet dreams."_


	9. Kira

Throughout the following week, Light attempted to bring the subject up. However, L seemed intent on avoiding any conversation related to the incident.

This frustrated the teen to no end. He really did want to help the man, and L seemed intent on keeping him from doing so.

Once the end of the week arrived, Light finally realized just what was going on.

He walked into the kitchen, finding L curled up in a chair with a rather grim expression. The teen felt his stomach shrink, and he quickly approached him.

"L?" He murmured, his gaze worried. "L, what's the matter?" His hand rest on the detective's shoulder, just to have the male push it away.

"Kira stopped killing a week ago, Light. A day after I brought you here." L mumbled, refusing to meet his gaze.

Everything around Light came to a screeching halt.

He had clearly instructed Misa to keep killing and plan ahead in case she was taken as well. What could have happened? Why was this happening? Kira was justice! He had to win, he just had to!

All color had left his face. He felt as if he might pass out. L had said something after that, but Light did not hear him. It was over. He would go to jail. There was no way he could argue against this. His life was over.

No. His life was not over. Kira had to win. There was no other option.

* * *

L watched in horror as Light turned heel and ran for the door. The door. It was unlocked. He quickly got to his feet and raced after him. 

"Light!" He cried, stopping at the doorway as the male disappeared into the forest.

Shaking violently, L grabbed the phone and frantically called Watari. His heart was pounding in his chest. How could he be so stupid? He should have told him differently. He should have known- but no, how could he know Light would react in suck a way?

He bit his lip when the man finally picked up, replying to Watari in a quivering voice.

"Please alert the authorities that Light has escaped. He is not to be harmed."


	10. Lost

His legs hurt. His throat hurt. Everything fucking _hurt_. But he had to press forward.

It had only been two days since Light had fled the cabin, and he had seen head nor tail of the police. Even though he was proud of his getaway, he found himself loathing his situation.

Light was utterly lost, to put it bluntly. He was currently sitting on a fallen tree, struggling to interpret his surroundings. Everything looked the same to him. He couldn't even tell if he was going in circles at this point. 

The teen had hoped to have at least a source of food or water at this point. While, yes, he had come across a bird or two, but how the hell was he supposed to kill anything? He had no weapons, and a rock would be useless in his hands. He nothing about the surrounding plant life, and a slow death by ingesting toxic berries was certainly not an option for him. Furthermore, he could not even locate a tiny stream of any sort. It hadn't rained at all. He couldn't tell which way could lead to civilization.

Light had not yet come to terms with the likelyhood of his death out here. He was shaking, hugging himself tightly. The temperature outside had dropped frighteningly.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream for L and beg him for help. But Kira could not lose. That was the only thing driving him forward as his mouth grew dry and his stomach roared. And that terrified part of him.

After what he could only assume was an hour- but how could he know? The sun had gone down. There was no moonlight. Everything was dark. Dark and cold. But the boy stood after this gap in time, and began to continue stumbling through the unknown terrain.

He was practically blind, bumping into trees several times. He knew it would have been smarter to build shelter and sleep through the night, but he had no supplies. He had nothing.

Here, he could reflect on the cruelness of nature. He was the savior of this planet, yet it was damning him to rot in this forest. It was unfair to him and the rest of mankind. The world needed him; the world needed Kira. Why couldn't it help him out a bit? Something. Anything.

Light mentally slapped himself. What, was he going insane? Earth was only a rock floating in a vast expanse of nothing. It couldn't help him. There was no divine force to grant his wishes. He was supposed to be a divine force, and he couldn't even save himself.

Kira had damned him.

For the past few days, he had already begun to recognize Kira as a seperate entity. The rational side of him suspected some sort of multiple personality disorder, while the other half found it just as likely that the notebook had planted some mental parasite in him.

Both sides knew Light wasn't making sense anymore. Both sides knew something had to be wrong with him. Perhaps they always did. He had to have something wrong with him to have even picked up the notebook that day. Everything he did after entailed a serious flaw in his mental health.

That's a first. He found himself smirking a bit as he imagined the snide remarks L could make for these thoughts. And then his insides shattered.

L. Where was he? Had he come after him? Was he wandering these woods in just as miserable a situation? Had he sent for someone to get him? Why didn't he stop-?

Light cried out as his toe was caught under the upraised root of a tree. He hit the ground at an angle, somehow holding back a wail as his foot twisted unnaturally. There was no way his ankle was unbroken. He didn't have to be a doctor to know that.

A whine slipped from his lips as he freed his foot and stood. Leaning heavily on his healthy foot, he limped onwards.

He was tired, he was thirsty, and he wanted L.


	11. Death

Three more days had passed, and Light could feel death breathing down his neck.

His feet were weighted bricks. Every step was agonizing. He couldn't even focus on a single thought aside from his own misery.

Light stumbled for the umpteenth and final time, hitting the ground heavily. He must have moved more, because the next thing he knew, he was laying on his back with his head propped up against a log.

He wheezed softly, wanting to cry and scream, but he couldn't.

All willpower the teen might have had was gone. He was alone. He would die out here, in the middle of nowhere, alone. Kira would die out here. 

He whimpered, unable to even move his limbs. He was so tired. Tired of being hungry. Tired of being thirsty. Tired of being _tired_.

His gaze scanned the area around him. Nothing was familiar. He had no idea where he was. He could have been walking in circles the whole time. It could have all been worth nothing. How ironic. Now, wasn't his life worth nothing? His purpose was incomplete. He was just another face in a crowd of nobodies.

Light didn't want to die. He was willing to take it all back. He just wanted another chance. A chance to have left the notebook there, never having created Kira. A chance to be a normal college student. A chance to have real love.

His heart broke. L. He wanted L. Part of him hoped that he would meet L again, but he knew he wouldn't. He was damned to an empty abyss that was neither Heaven nor Hell. A world without L in it, Light realized, must be Hell in truth.

He grunted, shivering violently. He could feel himself nearing unconsciousness, matted blackness thickening and blocking his gaze. 

The last thing he saw before blacking out were distant flashing lights.


	12. End to the Beginning

     When Light awoke, grey was all he saw. Grey walls, grey floor, and an open grey door.

     The teen couldn’t sit up. He could barely keep his eyes open. So, he let them close and allowed his mind to wander, contemplating his surroundings. His fingers were touching soft linen, likely a blanket of some sort. The smell of antiseptic hinted at him being in a medical building of some sort. However, Light didn’t recall being sick. And he certainly hadn’t been injured-

     Oh wait. He had.

     It all came back to him. The cabin, L, running into the woods, and his likely broken leg. Now that he thought about it, he could feel a tightness around his leg. Most likely a splint or cast of some sort. Which, unfortunately, meant he couldn’t run.

     L knew he was Kira. The jig was up. He was a mouse caught in a trap he had willingly flung himself into.

     Light grimaced inwardly. How had he been so stupid, so irrational? Running at that moment was the same as a confession to the detective, and he had ran. He had ran. He hadn’t come to this hospital willingly. So how did he get here?

     The teen exhaled for a moment before opening his eyes and gazing around the room once more. Shock rippled through him at the sight of the raven-haired detective in a seat near him. The man was staring at him, expressionless as always. So much unlike the L he had seen in the cabin. Pain rose inside Light. He wanted to see that L again. The vulnerable, kind detective he had met in that week.

     “I’m sure you have many questions at the moment, Light Yagami,” the male suddenly spoke up. “However, for both your legal and health well-being, I recommend you do not speak.”

     L stood, stepping closer so he was staring down at his opponent. “I will answer the questions I can predict you have for you,” he murmured, a slight frown on his lips.

     “To start, I contacted the authorities when you ran. The forest surrounding the cabin is rather large, so I gave hints as to any exits you may have taken. Then, I set off to look for you myself,” the detective paused, planning his words carefully. “I found you unconscious by a tree. You were bleeding from your leg, and, in that moment, I was astonished you had even made it that far. The police were near by, your father being one of them. I brought you to the car and accompanied you to the hospital.

     “When we arrived, I informed your father that I had proven that you are, in fact, Kira,” to Light’s surprise, L did not seem pleased by that statement. “He was crushed, Light. Never in my life have I seen such a defeated man. As you know, pride and honor are everything to your father. I wouldn’t be shocked if he avoided you from now on,” the man spoke simply, even though he knew the words were torture to Light. “You will not be going to jail, Light Yagami.”

     The teen wondered for a moment how powerful the painkillers running through his veins were. In no universe would L have ever said that. Jail, and execution promptly after, was his only option. There was nowhere else to go besides Death’s embrace.

     “I will be placing you in a mental health care facility,” L explained. “By altering a few documents, I provided sufficient proof of mental disease in your behavior. I assure you, you will receive the utmost proper care in the institution. I will visit you regularly to review your condition. You will not receive jail time or the death penalty. You will be treated as a mentally frail and broken human being, and likely will for the rest of your life.”

     The man rest a hand on Light’s arm, sighing quietly as defeat filled his eyes. “I’m sorry, Light. It’s the best I could do for you. Perhaps, in a few years, you could stay with me with regular nurse visits. But I truly believe you need help.” Light watched L walk out the door, his insides shattering. While he did enjoy the thought of spending more time with the man, his life was over. He wouldn’t be attending To-Oh. He wouldn’t see his family again. His father would rather he be dead. It was over.

     Everything was over.

* * *

 Sorry I've been inactive for so long, guys. I've been having a lot of personal issues recently. I'm not sure if this is going to be the final chapter or not. If it is, I promise there will be another story continuing after the therapy. Thank you all for reading my garbage XD


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